After much work with a plunger and auger on my own, and no results, I was forced to call in the professionals. Flip thru the phone book to find a plumbing service open on Sundays, and:
Sunday = overtime. One hour of labor (well, it took him 30 minutes, but of course there's an hour labor minimum) for $93.00. Chemicals / miscellaneous supplies of $12.50.
Grand total: $105.50.
No wonder Mr. Pipecleanerouter was so friendly.
Ah well. That's why I have a Freedom Account.