Comments on: Suze Orman: How to Split the Bills

By: mae

mae — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:30:28 +0000

My husband and I both pay our own personal bills such as charge accounts. My husband makes $4500 a month which includes social security, pension, part time pay. He also has a lawn service which he says that is his money to buy the things he wants and is not included in the $4500. I have $2500 coming in total which includes social security and pension. With his salary I should not have to pay any household bills since I am responsible for washing and keeping his clothing clean for his part time and lawn service job. All household chores are done by me(cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing,book keeping, painting, shampooing carpets,ironing,etc.He still wants me to pay half of our $2100 a month bills.We sat down and worked out a plan where he will pay 80% of the bills while I will pay 20%. It leaves him with over $3000 left plus whatever he makes from the lawn service. I have approximately $2050 left. And he still does not like this method. I told him I should not be living like a pauper while he lives the rich life. We are married and should have each other’s back.

By: Glenna Goodwin

Glenna Goodwin — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 09:49:26 +0000

Dear Suzie,
Help! This is a second marriage, I am 82 & he is 79. Each of us have in excess of a million dollars in assets, however, he has more than I do and his income is greater. I will lose $7000 the first year because of the decrease in S.S., he has said he will put the difference in an account for me but if I sell my house and put the money on interest then I should put that interest into this account or if I rent it anything above my expenses should go into this account, reducing or possibly eliminating his money in the account. He also expects me to pay for half the wedding and the honeymoon and pay half of the expenses at his house, where we will live. Since he has more money than I do in assets and income I think I should not have to pay half of anything. I really thought he was paying for the wedding and honeymoon so this comes as a surprise to me. If I didn’t have this very nice engagement ring from him I would call the whole thing off but I feel bad that he wouldn’t get the money back for the ring that he paid for it. I am concerned about spending out of my principal because there is always this not knowing how much I will need until I die. Please help us find our way. Thank you. Glenna

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:16:37 +0000

My question: I married a man who owns his own home and has 3 children. His mother lives with us; she is 70 years old and is no help around the house. Recently, my husband’s 16 year son moved in wih us permantely. The boy’s mother refused to pay child support and if my husband choses to, he will need to have to request from the court child support for that one child, meanwhile he is a very good Father pays his child support for the other two children and always get the necessary extra and luxuries.

However… My husband feels that I should be paying 1/2 of the entire bills of the house. The house is not mine and really every child, plus his mother has their own room. The house is at maxiumum capactity. I spent the last 3 years cleaning, organizing, decorating, etc., I give my husband about $1100 a month (this includes groceries, utlity, etc). I pay for the annual car insurance.

His mother never worked so has a limited income. My parents always worked and my family nor I are a financial burden on my husband, ie. I give my husband money, he does not support me or even pay for a manicure of mine. I have a house-keeper that I pay for and do most of the cooking.

I don’t feel comfortable inviting friends or family to the house because his kids/mother; feel very territorial. It’s uncomfortable but I have accepted my fate. I explained to my husband that his responsible for his own mother and children; that I do not have to incur their expense. It has nothing to do with me. I was overly generous at one point and when I felt I was over-spending and wanted to discuss it with my husband, he called me a liar and now requires a monthly sheet to make sure how much I spend. He wanted a pre-nup two weeks before our wedding mostly to secure his house. I feell used and the only thing my husband complains about me is that I don’t give him enough money. Any advise. Btw, we make an equal amount.

By: enigma1364

enigma1364 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:53:41 +0000

I have read all of the comments and feel that as a couple you stand together and divided you fall, in everything. A marriage is a UNION of two people for one purpose. You should support each other in good times and most definetley in bad. For someone to shrug off a spouses concerns about them not being able to pay the bills thay have been assigned and let them use a credit card to get by each month is cold, callous and in my mind NOT a marriage. I feel the bills should be paid from a pooling of incomes, and what is left is for both to enjoy, together and without question. It amazes me that marriages can and do exist with a situation of this is mine and thats yours, as a society, have we become so paranoid, so materialistic and so greedy that we have to protect “what’s mine”? anything less is a friends with benefits arrangement.

By: Robert

Robert — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 05:33:54 +0000

The real problem in dealing with finances in marriage is that each person can have different priorities. My wife feels that she and our kids need 2 – 3 times as many clothes as I feel is necessary. Even with getting good bargains, she feels it is more important to have a lot than I do. At the same time, I’m sure she can’t see why I need a new “toy” (guitar, etc). She is college educated and has refused to seek a better job or to work full time. Keep in mind I make 85% of the household income. I work from home and the “kids” are teenagers. We are slowly working out the issues, but my point is that when there is disparity in incomes, it is easy to have issues with finances. There must be transparency and communication (agreement to philosophy in setting budgets). In the end, marriage is imperfect as humans are. Just be glad you’re not single and paying a lot more in taxes.

By: Heather

Heather — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 21:27:03 +0000

This actually helped our marriage. Of course when we were first married, we pooled all of our money together and over time we acquired more expenses and had a few children. Money got tighter and tighter and we were both resenting each other about not having a personal cash allowance. I always paid the bills and gave him money for gas and that was it…but in his mind I would squander the rest away. He didn’t realize how quickly money can be gone, especially when you get paid once a month. We were on the verge of separation when we decided to try out separate accounts. He makes more but we worked it out to be at the end of the month we both had the same amount in extra cash. We both actually have savings accounts and have the ability to sometimes surprise each other with gifts. It has been the best decision we have ever made. Not everyone is the same…not all couples can manage to live happily with the mentality of “whats yours is mine/mine is yours” You have to do what works for you!

By: Financially Frustrated

Financially Frustrated — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 02:11:13 +0000

#38 your situation is exactly how I envisioned marriage. We even discussed it in premarital counseling. I think my husband just agreed with everything to get me to say, I do. He had no intentions of abiding by anything. I’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, run a muck, led a stray…..

By: Financially Frustrated

Financially Frustrated — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 01:58:52 +0000

I searched this issue for some solutions. Appears I’m in good company. My husband didn’t have so much as a savings acct when we began dating. When we became serious and planned to marry, I helped him get his financial house in order. When I came into large amts of $, I would add to his primary savings, which was joint. He was so appreciative of that that we joined all of our accts before we were married – had our own primary accts that we used but all being joint. Well, after three short years of marriage and he’s making more income, he has forgotten all about his humble beginnings. Let’s not forgot that I single-handedly put his portfolio together, searched for jobs, filled out the applications and everything besides went on the actual job interview for him; but now he’s big time. We recently moved out of the house I had already acquired before our marriage and into a larger house with a heftier mortgage. I’m a commissioned employee. My commissions have decreased because of the increased responsibilities I’ve taken at home — one significant duty is taking care of his son who recently came to live with us. He got mad with me and opened up separate accts and only puts the $ for the mortgage in the joint acct. He now wants to split bills 50/50 when that’s not even the way we began. I’m spending all of my income on the other household bills, groceries, toiletries and personal bills – like credit cards that I’d had paid down until he was out of work a couple months and we ran them up with our living expenses, paying insurance etc. He’s forgotten all of that. He’s never established credit so he didn’t have any. We’re only in this house due to my savings and credit along with his “increased income.” I didn’t even have $ for gas to travel to work last week. I had to borrow $ from a friend because hubby said he didn’t have anything. I knew that was a big lie. I walked in on him checking his acct & verified my suspicions. He’s hoarding his $. Only reason I’m struggling so bad now is because he hasn’t even paid me back $ like he promised when I helped him out several times for big ticket expenses. I don’t believe in married couples borrowing from each other, but I really didn’t have it to give because it was acct’d for. I feel like I’ve been taken cold stone advantage of. Split 50/50 when he makes more than me and I do more than him???? That’s a joke. I get up and fix breakfast and lunch. He comes home to dinner and a clean house every night. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ll divorce him and get a ROOMATE before I do that….

By: Barb

Barb — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 22:28:07 +0000

I think this would be the best scenario for my husband and myself. I have been a stay-at-home Mom for years and now I have a new job making about 30 percent of the household income. He will have lots more spending money than I will and there’s not much chance he will share. But, over the years I’ve had to beg to get the simplest of needs-like glasses as I’m severely nearsighted. You would have thought the $100 co-pay after years of wearing scratched glasses was asking him for his entire retirement account.

I really can’t wait to get to work. Even if I just have $20 per week left over, it’s $20 he never would have given me.

By: Shanna

Shanna — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 16:52:10 +0000

I think this is great! I make a lot more than my husband and the last thing I need him to feel like is a failure because he can’t pay 1/2 the bills. He just gives me the check! I spend it as shopping $ and I pay all the bills. That was not fair to my husband!! I did the percentage thing and gave him a little something back. He’s not a total sam sausagehead I know about his secret account but I will keep that to myself! He deserves more!!! Thanks Sue!